Not proud at how irritating I found this experience, but when you are concerned for your son’s health… Note: “Patience” is not my middle name…
Here’s a little ditty entitled: “Things that can go wrong while you wait for your child’s urine to be tested in order to determine if he might have an onset of f-ing Juvenile Diabetes!…"
1) The intake person asks what you mean by the fact that your child is having “accidents.”
Um, you’re a PEDIATRIC INTAKE person. I’m not talking about CAR accidents. What do you think I’m talking about.
Are you asking me to differentiate between pee and poo?
She’s silent and pissed.
By the way, I mean pee.
“Okay, so her symptoms are a fever, a headache, anything else?”
BRYAN. HIS.
“Oh his symptoms are fever, headache, anything else?”
“Did I dream that we just discussed his accidents?”
Pissed silence.
Hello?
Yes. Anything else?
No, you’ve been great. I have full confidence that this information will reach the doctor in tact.
(In this economy, shouldn’t Rhode Scholars be answering the phones--? )
2) You have to go to urgent care during rush hour in Los Angeles. There’s construction and no one lets you change lanes. When you eek your way in, a scary man in a white van honks at you and flips you off in a threatening way.
3) Of course, the waiting room is crowded.
4) The receptionist keeps blowing bubbles, and, since it’s not even bubble gum (but regular gum), it’s especially loud and cracks when she chews.
5) Someone with something contagious chooses to sit by you and breathes your way, despite there having been a couple of other empty seats.
6) An hour passes and every time the door opens, they call someone’s name that starts with a “B,” but isn’t Bryan. “B—ianca.” B—ecky B—everly B-arthalemuel—
7) You finally get it in and the nurse thinks your son is so cute that she’s in no rush to take down information to speed along this process. She would rather play with him and teach him about things like blood pressure machines and thermometers and ask him what grade he’s in and what he likes to do.
8) 45 more minutes later, the doctor arrives and speaks with a thick accent, so thick he’s hard to understand. For the 17th time, you have to go through the entire story of why you’re here—he’s been drinking a lot, so much so that he’s had some accidents (not car accidents), and he currently has a fever, a virus? And his primary care doctor wanted to rush him to urgent care to rule out JUVENILE DIABETES BECAUSE IF HIS URINE HAS SUGARS HE WOULD NEED TO BE HOSPITALIZED AND HIS LIFE WOULD DRASTICALY CHANGE NOW CAN YOU PLEASE CHECK THE URINE TEST?????!!!
9) “Okay, yes. Yes. They did do a urine test.” Tick, tick, tick, he’s reading, looking, reading, AAAAAHHHHHHH!
10) It’s negative for sugars. Just a virus. (actually this shouldn’t be on the list. It’s the only thing that didn’t go wrong.)
Cheers to having healthy children and strength to those who don’t.
Just imagining him this ill was enough to throw me over the edge.
No comments:
Post a Comment