Don’t let the pretty face fool you. This little girl just ran under the bed with the plastic applicator to a Tampon in her mouth.
She likes to run to the very middle, so we can’t reach. And that's where she keeps her stash. Her "stuff," as it were...
This dog is the reason I had to get a Target credit card. I have had to replace 419 pairs of underwear.
So, as I get the broom and capture her current belongings, I can report that at this time she claims to own the following… the Tampon applicator, just one pair of my compromised underwear!, a couple of wrappers to various food items (and gum), a yogurt container (!), a piece of one of Bryan’s toys, a plastic top to a soda bottle and one to a bottle of medicine (!), and one of Bryan’s stuffed animals. Also, there are some large dust bunnies, but I don’t think this is part of her stash.
I suppose we should get the broom and sweep out that spot more regularly, but what’s the point. Everything's already ruined. The Bitch. And I mean that literally.
This hearty, healthy, young dog is the laziest thing ever. All she wants is human skin contact. It doesn’t matter that you’re, say, lying down, typing on a laptop. She just ajflkdjflakjf kljklajkjfd; khahkjahfkn kjcljkbkljghak;fj;kajdafs will step over whatever djlkfjda;lkjf ;lj;dlkj fhdkfk she wants, to find a suitable place to djdfkjsd;kajf;dlksjf lkdjf;lkajslfkjdl;kfpurpu0912uj plop down for a good rest.
God forbid she ever gets sick and the vet asks us if she seems “lethargic.” That’s going to be tough to answer. “Well, Doctor, I think the rate? of her breaths? have remained? consistent?”
It is primarily for these reasons that we've decided to sell her. If you’re interested, check out EBAY to bid. (Bidding starts at $1 zillion. How could it be any less?!—look at that face! Good luck!)
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