A Series of Personal Questions from a Stranger

Dear Lady in Line at Target with the Imodium and Gossip Magazines in your cart:

Here are the answers to your questions:

·      Yes, he’s our son.

·      Yes, he’s adopted.  Perceptive.   

·      He’s 6 1/2.

·      I know: he’s small.  By the way, he knows it too.  Thanks for reminding him.

·      We got him at 7 months. 

·      No, he doesn’t speak Spanish.  Let’s remember… we got him at seven months.  As humans, we do not automatically speak the language of our heritage.  Language is learned.  For example, I do not speak German or Russian. 

·      Well, if he chooses to learn it.  I, for example, have no desire to learn German or Russian. 

(a Target in the eastern hemisphere?)

You see, Lady in Line at Target with the Imodium and Gossip Magazines in your cart, you caught me on good day.  A pleasant mood.  The brisk air-conditioning in the store served as a welcome respite to the fourteen thousand degree valley heat. 

As such, I stood waiting to pay with no ax to grind, no thorn in my side, and not even angry that I chose the slower line (due to the air-conditioning, I suppose).  Why I even answered your questions, I have little idea.  Maybe I could tell by your choice of such scholarly news magazines as Star and Us that you have a genuine interest in the human condition. 

I fear, though, that, for example, had the air conditioning not been working in the store, had I been in a hurry for my paper towel and dog biscuit purchase, had I been cursing myself for my ill-fated expertise of always choosing the wrong line, or had I just simply had a Daniel Powder Bad Day, my answers may have been more like this:

·      Yes, he’s our son. 

·      No, he’s not adopted.  Ever hear of a little show called Oprah?  Ever hear of a little episode called First two Women to Conceive?

·      I don’t know how he came out Hispanic. 

·      He’s 37. 

·      Yes, he still likes to ride in the cart. 

·      He does speak Spanish and 83 other languages including, but not limited to, Taiwanese.

(after our interview, she concluded she had, in fact, heard everything.)

The truth is, though, that I probably answered your questions because you didn’t seem like a mean person.  A little invasive, yes.  A little boundaryless, yes.  Nevertheless, in looking in your eyes, I didn’t sense any judgment.  Maybe it’s because you had the juxtzpah (no spelling suggestions from ms word) to ask, instead of merely choosing to stare too long at us.  

Living in Los Angeles, we don’t get a lot of weird stares, but we still do get them.  I hope I educated you in some way, however small, or merely reminded you that there are different kinds of families.  I know that you reminded me that not everyone’s interest is mean spirited. 

But, I think I do deserve a question or two to your ten: namely, is there some kind of connection between the Imodium and the magazines?  Also, why the runs?

Signed,

I Also Wonder Things