A couple of months ago, a colleague of mine walked passed the little autistic boy at our school, “Ben.” She saw what was going on—that he was being bullied. She watched how NonAutistic kids, Normal Kids, Kids with Power, circled around him and pointed and laughed and mocked him. She made it her business. She intervened. Here’s what she did: she talked to…
1) the students who tormented him
2) the young man in charge of the after-school program
3) our principal
4) Ben’s teacher
Weeks later, Ben’s face got bloodied and bruised from bullying during that same after-school program. She said she felt like Joe Paterno. What if Ben’d been killed? No, not dramatic: shit like this happens.
Before all this, I had jumped on the “Joe Must Go” bandwagon. F-him. He KNEW about it? Then I learned of my colleague’s experience and it somehow made sense to me that Joe Paterno must have (mistakenly) trusted that after having talked to his Supervisor, some sort of investigation must have Happened, and it must have been determined that everything was OKAY. Joe Paterno must have trusted that People in Power took the Responsibility they were Supposed to. These people get Big Bucks for taking Responsibility. (They even get big bucks when they don’t.)
My colleague/friend had also mistakenly trusted that things would Work Themselves Out after having relayed information to so many people, including the Head of our School. They didn’t. While Blatant Bullying of Ben has (apparently) ceased, just yesterday the Biggest Bully of them all (a little sociopathic twerp) stole Ben’s ball and kicked it over the fence. I stuck my head in AGAIN. I told the young man in charge of the program that it was time to kick out the Biggest Bully of Them All because he didn’t deserve the opportunity to get to play freely on the yard. I have no idea what will happen. I’m not the Young Man’s Supervisor. I’m just trying to Intervene.
I’m embarrassed to admit, that I also jumped on the Fire Everyone at Miramonte! Bandwagon, initially. Somebody had to know Something! F them all! Shame on them! But after all I see going on right before my eyes at my own school, I realize how possible it is that some teachers did express concerns about the Pedophile to their supervisor. After having done so, teachers must have trusted that People in Power took the Responsibility they were supposed to and Investigated Properly.
What are we teachers expected to do? Should we bypass our Supervisors and call the police? I’m tempted to call them for the bullying episodes. But I’m not in charge and I don’t get the big bucks that go along with it, either. What’s happening is that people who should be taking responsibility, often aren’t. It’s easier not to. It’s easier to live life, I guess, wrongly hoping that things will Work Themselves Out.
The other night at a school function for my son, my partner and I were saddened to notice that a mother of one of the kids in his class was drunk off her ass. We felt it necessary to talk to people at the school—a responsible teacher who would tell the principal. Was the drunk mom driving her kid home? After having talking to a Teacher we Trust, we let go of the situation. What were we supposed to do, call the police?
It was sad, though, to think of the little girl in our son’s class. She needs someone to Intervene too. She needs someone to take Responsibility. I had flashes of the children of alcoholics I know. Sadly, who knows when and if such an intervention will take place for my son’s classmate. Her probable childhood experience also flashes through my mind.
Whitney Houston And (probably) many of her doctors who perhaps Freely wrote many a prescription for this notable Addict, as well as the Bullies at my school and their Parents, and Those in Charge at Places of Education, and Alcoholic Parents are largely the ones not taking Responsibility for all of the Sh*t that’s going on. Taking Responsibility is hard but Must be Done.
By Removing the entire staff at Miramonte Elementary, our Superintendant tried to show that he was Doing Something. For that, I don’t fault him. What he did was Entirely Wrong, but at least he acted. Hopefully, he will realize or remember, that the tone of a school, an organization, a family is set by those in Charge. Us underlings Do the Best We Can. The tail can only wag the dog so hard and for so long. All these wrongs need to be righted by those who have the Power to do so.
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