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A couple of weeks ago, here’s what I posted:

“Going to write a blog on Facebook etiquette. Suggestions of what to include?”

Here’s what was posted back:

1)    Use punctuation/ no crazy capitalization

2)    No politics

3)    No posting about standing in line at Target

4)    Be wary that once it’s out there, it’s OUT THERE (oops, broke rule #1 already)

5)    “Thank you notes” (no idea what this person meant)

6)    No pics of your meal

While I respect my friends' opinions, I had a hidden agenda I didn't reveal.  And they were honestly responding.

(Thanks, Fernando.  Looks yummy.)

In terms of these thoughts, I think things like... 

1) Someone believing that George Bush was a good president can always be hidden. 

2) Meal pics can only be considered somewhat fascinating b/c, at least in our family, we merely eat the same things over and over and over.  What someone else eats always looks Fresh & Inventive. 

3) In terms of the Target line, I’m interested. I even want to know what’s in your cart.  Or, are you carrying a basket?  Anything Snoopy in the dollar section?

In order to get real reactions, I failed to write what motivated the question in the first place. 

I had just reached out to a childhood friend who had failed to return the reaching.  It hurt.

I know.  Had I, instead, posted: Why doesn’t someone respond when an old friend reaches out, here may have been some of the replies:

1)    People have LIVES.  If you haven’t HEARD FROM SOMEONE IN 20 YEARS, there’s a REASON. 

2)    It’s the same old thing on FB, once you find out how many kids someone has and if they’ve battled any diseases, you go back to being fine without them.

But, here’s the knee-jerk reasons I came up with for being ignored:

1)    This person never liked [me]

2)    [My] memories of the friendship are f-ed up

3)    [I’m] pathetic for even giving a shit

4)    Via my home page, this person realizes I’m gay, and while it’s trendy to accept me, gays still freak her out or, worse, she thinks I had a crush on her. (No, sorry).

A few days after incessantly checking to see if she’d finally responded (never), I changed my list of reasons she didn’t.  Be aware, I'm pained--

1)    She’s an asshole

2)    She’s a huge asshole

3)    Her asshole has an infection that’s reached her bloodstream

4)    She’s dying of Assholitus

If I were Queen of the World, this would be my only rule to Facebook Etiquette…

If someone reaches out, reach back.  The world’s a fucking scary place.  Considering all the problems inherent in something seemingly stupid like Facebook, life is somehow less lonely when you’re at least cyberly connected to people you loved or once did.  For God’s sake, just friend me, then hide me.  Tell your real friends what a loser I am.  I’ll never know.  What would it hurt?

After a week of angsting, I read one of those life-quotes people like to post. 

“Be kind.  People are fighting a battle you know nothing about.” 

Who knows the reasons people don't reach back.  Or merely why she didn't.

She could be fighting many battles, for all I know.  After all, I haven't talked to her in 20 years.